Fast Food Apocalypse
by chrismaroney
Summary: A mix of fast food and zombies.


Chris Maroney

Nov. 14, 2013

Fast Food Apocalypse (A Resident Evil Parody)

Wendy had awoke from her sleep, but she wasn't sure where she was exactly. She was the freckle faced, red headed pigtailed girl that many people had known her from the fast food restaurant Wendy's. But now she was twenty eight years old, still bright red hair, no more freckles, and ironically looked much like Morgan Smith Goodwin from the 2013 Wendy's commercials. She was trying to figure out where she was exactly. She looked around to find herself in a huge house, and could see her reflection on the black marble floor. She looked around and saw a picture of herself with some other guy she couldn't recognize who it was though. Wendy picked up a photo for a closer inspection. He wore a baseball hat too large for his head with the bill straightened out, and yet there was still hair noticeably hanging out the front, a giant chain that had the initials J.B. around his neck, ridiculously tight black leather pants, and a black leather coat with a giant B on it. She set the picture face down and poked around the room a bit more trying to find something to change into. She found a dark red dress, and as soon as she put it on a squad of people in tactical swat gear broke into the front door. Their uniforms were different however, with multiple fast food logos all over their uniforms, looking like nas car drivers with armor. They seized Wendy and threw her to the ground immediately detaining her. The squad leader a sergeant approached her asking "What is your name? What are you doing here? Well?!" Wendy very frustrated replied "My name is Wendy, and I don't have any idea how I got here!" The medic had explained that both Wendy and the other detainee were both most likely gassed by some chemical that had temporarily erased their memory. The sergeant said "very well, move out squad." Wendy was snatched up and placed with another detainee, it was the guy from the picture. He looked at her with a blank face, Wendy asked him his name and he replied "My name is Justin." in a snood voice. Wendy shrugged it off and decided not to waste her time talking to him. The squad lead them to an elevator with a security code on the wall. "Uberheart, get over here and take care of this!" the sergeant shouted out. A taller man about 6'3" and even with the armor was easy to see he was overweight as he waddled to the door. He fumbled around for a bit as he muttered to himself about why the contraption wasn't working to crack the code. "I, I just don't know sergeant! It's not…." But before Uberheart could finish his sentence another man about as tall as Uberheart was kneeling down came up and snatched the device. "I thought you comm guys were supposed to be smart with this stuff! Don't worry I'll do your job for you!" the man sneered. Uberheart shamefully drifted back to watch how his job was done. The keypad made a high pitched bleep and the elevator door opened. The sergeant went over the objectives again and explained the layout of the structure they were to clear. Wendy had snuck a peek at the map, she had seen their location in the house, and underneath was a giant underground structure that looked like a bee hive. Ironically on the map it was labeled "The Hive" The sergeant ordered that Wendy and the first team of three stuff into the elevator as team two waits. Soto sneered "Uberheart can ride by himself, he's big enough for a few people."

Both teams had gone down the elevator, they patrolled one person in front of the other with about ten to fifteen feet dispersion. The man on point had past by a room that had been flooded due to the sprinkler system, people had been inside trying to evacuate. The private had yelled back to the sergeant to check it out. Bodies were floating around aimlessly. The sergeant ordered to move on, all the rooms were locked due to the main security system. The halls and what they could see of the room were disorganized, papers were everywhere, chairs and desks flipped over. Their first objective was to shut down the main security system to get further down the Hive. The whole squad without a moment of pausing had raised their weapons due to the surprise. "You all have the option to turn back now, without risking contamination." The sergeant replied, "No we are here because of a stress signal sent out a few hours ago, and we are going to check it out." The first team started moving toward a narrow corridor, it was a white room with mirrors all along the wall on both sides. The sergeant had told team two and the civilians to stay behind in case the system went crazy. Which it did, as soon as the team had set foot in the room the door had automatically slammed shut. Immediately after that a laser beam horizontally started to moving towards them, Wendy had ran up to a window which allowed her to watch the team in the room. The man on point got sliced in half not able to jump high enough to avoid the laser. The other three ducked and missed being hit by it. The second team scrambled around to find somewhere to hack into the systems mainframe to shut down its security measures. The beams continued to come at the rest of the team from the other end of the hallway, they would duck, jump, and twist around as they attempted to dodge them. Another of the team members ran out of luck as he misinterpreted one beam and was decapitated. Uberheart pulled out another gadget from his pack and plugged it into a computer, start pounding away at the keys clumsily. The system was adapting to the two locked inside the room with every move they made, so it started sending multiple lasers out now. The third team member was sliced just below the shoulders and just above the knee caps as he tried to jump straight up in the air. The sergeant yelled out to his remaining squad members "For the love of God hurry the hell up!" Soto barked at Uberheart to hurry up as well, along with a smack upside the head. The lasers now formed grid lines that filled went from the ceiling to the floor making it impossible to avoid. The sergeant simply put up his left arm and flipped off the incoming lasers and said some profanity as he was turned into little pieces. As soon as that had happened the power to the security was override, and the lasers were disengaged. Everyone looked into the room in disbelief that people could be so disfigured like that. Soto the second team leader was now in charge. They continued down the corridor on the other side was the mainframe to shut down the entire system. The holograph had appeared again. "This is your final chance to leave." Soto had told everyone to ignore her. Wendy asked what it was exactly, he explained "She is basically just an image for the main security system, once the alarm had went off it went haywire and locked everyone in this chaos, leaving them to die, well I assume anyway. That's why we are shutting it down so we can access the lower levels and find out if there was something that really did go down, or if the system is just nuts." The holograph told them "I did what I had to, to protect the city above if you shut me down…" she looked sharply at them "you will all die down here!" Soto nodded to Uberheart as a go ahead to put it down. Uberheart pressed a button on his gadget and everything went black for a second or two then the backup generator kicked on and the light was back. Soto ordered "ok objective one complete, let's move on out." The had backtracked a little ways and then started heading down further into the Hive. It wasn't long into their journey when they came across a person. He was in a white lab coat, and he was wobbling around as if he were drunk, he could barely stand on his own. The man on point, a Lance Corporal had called out to the man, but he turned very slowly and was drooling. The Lance Corporal asked "Are you ok sir? Sir?" The man let out a snarl, Soto asked "Hey what's going on up there Davidson?" When LCPL Davidson had turned around to answer, the man had came up and bit the LCPL on the shoulder. Davidson had shouted out and pushed the man off of him, the man slowly got up. Davidson told the man to stay down as he and the rest of the team raised their weapons. The man slowly started to come back with his teeth bared. Davidson yelled out "I'm not kidding here man, back off!" he then fired three rounds into the man's chest. The man went down, and Davidson was almost shocked at himself he looked down as if he were ashamed at what he had done. He was saying to himself "I told him, I warned him, I fallowed our TTPs (tactical training procedures). I'm in the right." A few seconds later more people started to come from nowhere, all of them had the same look as the man that was shot. All had their jaws open ready to take a chunk out of someone, all were very slow, some had visible wounds too. Soto yelled out "Zombies!" The team in unison started to open fire. Soto again yelled out, "Aim for the head!" Wendy and Justin still tied with their hands behind their backs were defenseless and begged for someone to untie them and give them a weapon. The team started to shift right because the zombies were too many, Davidson opened an all silver door, hoping it would be a way out of the mess. As soon as he flung the door open a horde of the zombies landed on him and the team shouted out for him, but there was nothing anybody could do. What was left of the team was moving around trying to find a clear way out, eventually they found a hallway that was safe and followed it. Once they thought they were in the clear, again Wendy and Justin had asked to be released. Wendy had explained, "It looks like we are the least of your problems now, and could you please give us a weapon?" Soto had agreed that it would be a good idea to cut them lose of the zip ties, he cut Wendy loose first and gave her his side arm, a .45 Glock. Then he cut Justin loose and the kid sneered "It's about time, if we were harmed it would have been all your guys' fault, how crappy would you feel then?" Soto glared at him and replied "I wouldn't of felt all that terrible, especially for you." He handed his five and a half inch, brown handled, kabar. It was serrated towards the bottom of the blade. Justin had asked "Seriously, you saw how many of those things there were, what am I supposed to do with this?" Soto ignored the remark and explained they would have to find another elevator to get to the lower levels to find out what happened. The scenery did not get any better as they traveled though the hallways and office spaces. Blood was smeared in some rooms, along with motivation posters that said "We love to see you smile" "I'm lovin it", or "Yo quiero taco bell." There were a few zombies here and there occasionally, but they were usually one or two to the team was able to take them down without causing too much of a scene. Finally they reached the elevators, but they didn't work, the cables were broken and they had fell all the way to the bottom floor. Luckily there were stairs next to the elevator. Uberheart and Justin had whimpered about going down the several flights of stairs. Soto had replied "Aw don't be so negative, especially you Uberheart you can use a little more cardio so you can actually pass a PT test." Wendy asked "Why are you so mean to Uberheart, and why don't you defend yourself Uberheart?" Soto explained that Uberheart was a royal screw up, and when he first checked into the squad was disrespectful. "After all I out rank him too, so his opinion does not matter to me." Uberheart bent his head down and started to walk down step by step. Along the way there were a few zombies, again they were few and spread out. After a while they finally reached the floor level, slowly they cleared the area of the space they could see. Uberheart took point and went into the first room that said animal testing, in all red letters. He looked into the room, and without seeing anything he decided to check it out. There were little dog kennels that had been busted open, blood was everywhere on them. Uberheart saw something rustle around in a trash pile in a corner. Out emerged a Chihuahua, it's face was mangled and pieces of its flesh were gone, it let out a little snarl. Suddenly Uberheart was surrounded by these little creatures all had their teeth bared. One jumped at him, he was able to smack it across the room. Another jumped at him and landed a could bite on Uberheart's arm. He yelled out in pain and suddenly ten of the little things latched on to him, again the rest of the group had no other choice but to watch as their companion was eaten alive. Soto said "Sorry dude." He pulled out a grenade, pulled off the thumb clip and the pin and threw it at Uberheart. The explosion had attracted more zombies, soon Soto, Wendy, Justin and the last guy were again surrounded. They were backed up to the end of the hallway, and forced into a room labeled "Lab." They shut the door behind them, and looked around. Glass cylinders were broken everywhere, unknown liquids lay unattended. In the corner huddled up was Ronald McDonald, and Colonel Sanders with gas masks on. They looked puzzled and hopeful that other people had shown up, thinking it was a rescued. Wendy and the others also looked very surprised. A minute had gone by, everyone was trying to think of what to say. Finally the silence was broken by Soto, "What are you guys doing down here?" Ronald in full costume makeup, yellow vest and pants, with red and white striped sleeves responded, "We were making the ultimate ingredient for a sauce that would top all of our previous restaurants. We had mixed Taco Bell sauce with the big mac hamburger secret sauce, and secret sauces from KFC, Jack in the Box, you name it. But as soon as we had combined them all in had started a chemical reaction that would cause everyone in contact with it to go brain dead, turning them into zombies! It went air borne and infected the entire hive, the Colonel and I were lucky enough to grab gas masks to avoid contamination." Wendy very angrily scolded saying "You started all of this!" She turned to Soto "and you guys work for them?" Soto explained "Yes but we didn't know about any of this we were just security measures. The only reason we have all of there logos on here is that they bought out a private sector and naturally wanted their signature all over." Wendy's memory began to recover. She remembered that her father was bought out by McDonalds years ago, her dad was forced to do so since all of the other fast food chains had combined under the same owner. Her dad didn't like it but was forced to work for them. She was there as a spokes person and was going to bring the corporation down by exposing the super secret sauce known as the TF-Virus (trans fat virus) She was doing a photo shoot with Justin Bieber to get more commercialism that day. Wendy pulled up her weapon ready to shoot both the mascots. Sanders yelled out "Wait, wait, we are stuck down here, and we know a way out, so if you kill us you die too!" She reluctantly put her pistol down. "Fine what's your plan?" McDonald had explained that there was another place to reactivate the main security system that could help fight or block of the zombies. No one was to keen on the idea but it was all they had. Everyone had piled into the ventilation shaft, they were making a lot of noise banging there elbows and knees in the tiny space. They had reached the back up room for the main system, Ronald had pulled out a little computer and a few USB cords and plugged them in and explained that if the system went crazy again they could fry it permanently with a simple on/off switch that was hand held. The system was back on, the holograph came back on, and although it could not show much emotion it was evident that it was really pissed that it had been shut off. Wendy explained the situation, and that if the system did something they didn't like that it would be fried. The system calculated this for a while, and replied, "I've taken a few cautions as well." A projection popped up and in an unknown location was the Jack in the Box mascot with his suit on and giant white head, in a thick glassed ten foot container with some sort of life support tubes and liquid surrounding him. The liquid drained and the container opened and Jack's normal nonchalant painted face turned into a frown and his mouth opened reveling sharp jagged teeth. He sprang towards the door but was stopped by the thickness of the steel. The system explained, "If you fry me you will die for sure by Jack if not by the zombies, he was another experiment for safety precautions. He can see in thermal imagery, has a heightened sense of smell and hearing." "Fine." Soto had complained, "Now show us out." The main system had led them through a series of doors and hallways, blocking the zombies from the surviving people. Till one door it had said, "I'm sorry I cannot risk contamination outside of the Hive!" Through the next door was Jack. Ronald had pulled the switch to "off". The system was shut off and Jack leaped out and bit off Bieber's head with one clean bite, like a knife through butter. His body fell limp on the floor. Jack chewed up the head and the others ran as fast as they could up the stairs, the only thing they had recognized around the area. Jack wasn't far behind chomping away at desks and chairs and any zombie that got in the way. It looked like a twisted game of Pacman. The Colonel was last in the group, he was grabbed up by his left leg and flung to the ground, then devoured by Jack as well. Wendy had looked back and shot her entire magazine of ammo at Jack, none of the hits had landed on her target. They had made it up the stairs and were retracing their steps toward the elevator, Soto was clearing the path up ahead with what ammo he had left. But it wasn't enough, Ronald was grabbed by a few zombies pulled into a room and devoured alive. Soto ran out of ammo and was beating the zombies with the butt of his rifle left and right. After about six swings he was bitten on his left arm and leg. The sad part was that they had reached the elevators to go back up toward the mansion. Wendy and Soto jumped in but before the elevator doors were shut, Jack had jammed the door with his giant head trying to take a chunk out of Wendy and Soto. Soto looked at Wendy and smiled pulling out another grenade and said "Well at least I'm going out with a bang!" He pulled the thumb clip and the pin and tackled Jack to the ground. The elevator went up and was shook by the explosion. Once she reached the top and the doors opened, five people in all white bio hazard suits had grabbed her, their faces were covered my their reflective masks. One had exclaimed "She's been infected!" Wendy hadn't noticed that she was bit from being chased by Jack, there were teeth marks on her right forearm with a little blood drawn out. She was horrified now, her eyes were wide and she went pale with disbelief. The group had brought out a stretcher. Wendy began to swing her fists, and kick wildly with frustration and panic. She landed a few of her swings, but the group eventually managed to get her on the stretcher. One man had ordered that another group go down to check out the wreckage, and salvage any useful information. Wendy looked up at the man and saw her reflection in his mask, "You can't go back down there, it could reach it's way here to the surface!" The man did not reply back and there was a black mask put over Wendy's head to keep the other research facility an unknown location. After what felt like a few hours the mask was torn from her head, she squinted at the brightness of the all white room. She was strapped to a hospital style bed by her arms and legs. She was running out of energy, the infection was starting to take a grasp of her. Then another person in an all white bio hazard suit came up to her and injected her with some sort of thick green liquid, she passed out after that.

When she awoke her wound was gone, and Wendy was a little dazed still. She was unstrapped from the bed now and slowly got up and stumbled to the observer's window. She pounded on it with a fist and demanded to be let out. She grabbed a chair that was next to the bed and started to hit the glass with it. After many swings she finally broke through to the other side. It was smashed up in there as well, computers were knocked over and broken, keyboards and monitors were blank. She ventured out of the building, the streets were littered with newspapers, cars left unattended. She read a newspaper flying by that read "Zombie Apocalypse Now!" The infection had spread to the city, she found an empty police car with the lights still running around with blue and red circling around. She reached in the car and grabbed a twelve gauge pump action shotgun, she loaded it and looked angrily into the distance wondering what her next move was…(camera zooms out, start of credits.)


End file.
